But here I am - searching the internet, looking for something new and interesting, waiting for something news worthy to happen. I don't know why I do this to myself. It seems as though each night I need to be sleeping, I can't and each night I can be wide awake, I am exhausted.
Maybe deep thinking about whatever I'm about to write here will tucker me out. I don't think I've ever had thoughts THAT deep, but you never know.
Classes are going well - my senior psychology class has been a struggle for me. We don't have exams, or long papers, but we discuss theories and ideas about life that I don't agree with. There are times I sit in my desk, next to my peers and bubble inside with anxiety and defensive thoughts wondering why anyone would want to take their beliefs about LIFE in that direction. The topic was the existential theory. For those that don't know, it is the idea that our lives don't hold any true meaning. We only hold meaning in our lives because we have the ability, as humans, to do so. It is what separates from animals. Those that agree with this say there is a positive side: we are able to create our own meaning through self-actualizing, and also know that true meaning is fictitious.
...I'm sorry. What? That doesn't make ANY sense. FYI, if you read about this theory it is going to sound a lot more academic and unbiased, but that is pretty much what I got from it.
Go ahead and make your own interpretations of it, but here are my overall thoughts: PISS ON THAT! Our lives hold meaning and purpose that is worth pursuing: where would we be if everyone thought this way?
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